Parenting Plan and Intolerable Parents
When it comes to the divorce parenting plan, some parents can be real intolerable. What is an intolerable parent in this situation? He or she is someone who belittles and demeans the other parent and is selfish about achieving their own objectives at the expense of the children.
The parenting plan is essential to determine what times during the year the children spend with each parent. It’s divided into normal weekday/weekend time and vacation time including holidays. The plan should be agreed upon and executed faithfully to allow for the smoothest transition back and forth for the children. With that in mind, let’s review ways in which parents could dive into the murky depths of divorce and parenting plan intolerableness.
You could be an intolerable parent if:
You argue with the agreed upon parenting plan. Vacation time takes precedence over the normal schedule. If, according to the plan, your spouse has the children over Christmas, don’t think you can change that.
You don’t communicate vacation plans with the other parent. Let your other parent know travel dates, flight information, where you will be staying, contact information, and anything else related to your travel plans. If something unexpected happens and a child gets hurt, the other parent needs to know. Have a communication clause in the parenting plan.
You don’t put the needs and welfare of the children first.
Some parents are so bent on making the life of the other parent miserable, they selfishly do whatever it takes to achieve that end. Angry displays can occur while the children are present leaving them scared and psychologically scarred. Table your emotion and think about how your angry, accusing outbursts are affecting them. Treat the co-parenting like a business relationship. Be composed and professional. Now more than ever, the kids need your time, support, love and reassurance.
You ask the children to spy on the other parent.
Do not put your children in compromising positions. If this behavior continues, your child might resent and resist spending time with you.
You ask the child to be a messenger for you instead of talking to the other parent yourself.
Grow up. Pick up the phone or text a message. Do not make the children the go-between. They are children, not couriers. The children should not be involved in any way in the divorce or custody dispute. Devise a way to put that in the plan.
You consume drugs (legal or non-legal) shortly before your time to be with them.
A clause regarding alcohol consumption can be written into the parenting plan. Children are observant. They see how alcohol alters your behavior and they can certainly smell it. Think about what’s more important. Is it drinking to drown your sorrows and lose awareness or, precious, quality, meaningful time with your children?
We know you are mad and possibly scared about an outcome with any divorce proceedings. All of the above behaviors will not win favor with your attorney, mediator, judicial officer or most importantly your children.